Monday, August 29, 2005

Owen to circumstances beyond..

Owen to circumstances beyond our control the authors of this blog couldn't give two sweet flying fucks about the ongoing tabloid Michael speculation. Listen you wee half pint striker. Either sign up or fuck off. You either want to play for the CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE or play for a team that can't score, play in the coldest part of Europe outside Trondheim and have dickhead Shearer as their spokesperson.

Michael, you betrayed us last season. If you want to heal that betrayal sign now or fuck off.

Rafa - if you sign the short-arsed one, keep Cissee and tell Morientes that he goes at Christmas.

Owen to circumstances beyond our control this post now ends

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Difficult Post

I've thought long and hard about this post. It's been a weird week. First we play bloody awful against CSKA Sofia, lose and qualify. Then we get drawn against Chelsea in the league stages. And then to top it all off we play crap against CSKA Moscow and still win.

It's not that our team is totally awful; it's just - shit I can't put my finger on it - it's just there are a few players that don't seem that their hearts really in it. They're not playing for the shirt, for the fans, or anything except their paycheck (and yes Morientes I'm talking about you amongst others!)

The slight on his character seems the only thing to actually waken up Cisse to play...

The league campaign is about to kick off in earnest for us in seven days and the European Champions League is not far behind it. Now's the time to stand up and play; not run around trying to think what to spend the th0usands they receive each week.

It would do them well to think who pays those wages - the fans in the Kop, the fans in the Anfield Road end, the fans in the stands, the fans paying to watch it on Sky, the fans buying the shirts - real ordinary working class people and their children. People who don't get thousands of pounds per week.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Up for awards

Four Liverpool players have been short-listed for the prestigious UEFA Club Football Awards - the winners of which will be announced in Monaco on Thursday.
Jerzy Dudek, Sami Hyypia, Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard are among 21 of Europe's top players who have been nominated for the best player awards in their respective positions, as well as the overall most valuable player award.
Now the question remains - why so few from the team that won the fucking thing and who are the other 17 whose contribution to their sides didn't mean diddly squat in terms of their teams topping the Reds!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Scraping by...again

At the end of the season it won't matter, of course; but the win over Sunderland revealed a lack of urgency and passion that was worrying.

The attitude of some players was almost unbelieveable. No fighting for second ball, an inability to read the game and when to know to hold the ball and when to release quickly. And at times our midfield and defensive four appeared to be on a different page. As for the so-called strikers...

Two years ago Morientes was the top scorer in the European Cup and Cisse was the top scorer in France. Can't imagine how they managed those records on the strength of recent performances.

And now learn that Gerrar is out of the Sofia game with a calf injury but will be back for Friday's Super Cup game in Monaco...For God Sake Rafa, don't risk him!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Teenage Kicks Sénor

Si Sénor we have the teeange kicks...News reaches us this week that Spanish is to adopted as the official language of Liverpool City Council.

A source within the council gave us the following statement in a dingy city centre pub, with the promise we wouldn't publish it online....

"A'right wack, well there's so many Spaniards in the city now that it's easier y'know, to like speak Spanish. With most of the Liverpool team, like Spanish, y'know, and dey have big families, it means there're more people working here speaking Spanish than people working here speaking English."

We understand that the sudden decision to dump Scouse as the city's first language [and here's the serious part of the post] has been prompted by the arrival of Godwin Antwi and Miquel Roque. Antwi (17) is Ghanian, but has been playing with Real Zaragoza. Roque is also 17 and was snapped up from Lleida. They join Antonio Barragan and Jack Hobbs, who was told this week that he would have to learn Spanish if he ever hoped to understand what was going on...

The four teeange kick(ers) are to have their first outing this week in the reserves against Everton Reserves; who have recently adopted an obscure Scottish dialect as their chosen first team language.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Hapless in the north east...

The official line is that we performed well at Middlesborough, and all but the most cynical fans would agree. Well, call me cynical, but it wasn't good enough.

I hesitated in putting this post up to see the results from the teams above us at the end of last season. Apart from Everton (and they were playing the scum) all the others won. So Wigan pushed Chelsea hard... do you think that matters at the end of the season.

Put simply, we as yet are not good enough. Sure we look slick, passin the ball about. Sure Missoko looks a good buy. Sure, Jamie was solid. But there were too many other absentees. Funny that, an away match and some players didn't come up to scratch...

We need to be more incisive, but most of all, Stevie G, "SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS"! - just kidding, he was our best player; as usual!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Crippled FC

Well, the season hasn't even 'officially' started and the injuries are mounting up. Well, maybe mounting up is an exaggeration, but after Peter 'Hightower' Crouch pulled a hamstring (how did he find it, there's no meat on his legs) Jerzey Dudek has an elbow injury that will put him out for three months. For the people who monitor these things it means he'll be more difficult to sell. For me it means that he's guaranteed not to be in the team against Man United, which means he won't fuck up again!

And just a few days away is the game away to CSK. Here's hoping we get a good away result to see us through to a comfortable return tie.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Work Permits

It's a weird, weird world indeed! Liverpool attempt to sign the top player in Chile, Mark Gonzalez, and the some jumped up bunch of non-entities, decide he can't get a work permit. The basis is that they only grant football work permits to players whose teams are in the FIFA Top 70, and Chile are 72nd.???

This happens to be a player who is playing in Spain and is very highly rated, a player who has no problems appearing playing football in another EU country, but some official nonsense says he can't play here.

One has to wonder what these fuckwits know about life? Ask them the price of a pint of milk and they'd have to ask the waiter to check with the cook and kitchen maid. Guys, just fuck off and get yourself a real job! Well, after you sign Gonzalez's work permit you can fuck off!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Having overcome the mighty

So finally, we have overcome the mighty, Kaunas (or however the hell you spell that footballing non-entity. And we friggin' made it look hard!

Okay we had a two-goal cushion (more like a duvet!), but still the players seemed to misunderstand the concept of the game. The objective is not to see who has the most possession. The objective is not to play around with neat interplay passing. Though these may contribute to winning, the essential part of the game is SCORING FUCKING GOALS!!!!

Look, I know we hit the bar, had that defender head away Bolo's goalbound shot etc, etc, but we never looked like scoring. It was embarassing that Stevie G's free kick snuck in and Cisse owed us a goal.

Peter 'Hightower' Crouch may be on the couch for a few weekends with that hamstring twinge. Hope he does more damage there! Or is this a tactical thing here "Look boss I'm out for the first couple of week's cuz of that thing at Southhampton, y'know that red card thing? Yep, well, if I pull a sickie, then we can pretend that the red card doesn't matter." Rafa: "Si, Senór Crouch, but as we say in Spain, score or it's the bull ring for you!"

On a brighter note...Stevie G is officially the top scorer in Europe with...fuck it, doesnt matter now, it's friggin' loads. Keep it up!

Now, who's next to face death by boredom?